You have my word. While this one was pretty funny, dont poke the bear guys. It wa. My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. We don't play Freebird, Big Bird or any other kind of bird. Cutouts of faces remain quite popular as a tool of distraction. We've been graced with our fair share of "dad" jokes, so-bad-they're-good puns, knock . That's my favorite. Why didnt the bike want to go anywhere? 34. "HEY AUBREY! Those who can count, and those who cant. I see food, and I eat it. It's difficult to do nothing because you never know when you're done. Spot! Sure, alcohol doesnt solve any problems. 29. Your previous content has been restored. If you stop a taxi and he asks for your destination, say, Jamaica.. oddfellows lunch menu / why did mikey palmice gets whacked? Keep screaming after you get off a roller coaster even when it stops. 2023 Culture Amp Pty Ltd, Terms, Privacy, Cookie preferences. When you order chocolate milk, say, Thank heavens for brown cows, otherwise, there wont be any chocolate milk. Ive spent the last five months traveling so, rather than tell a joke I thought Id tell a story about one of the people I met. Its funny how the cost of living is going up but the chance of living is going down. Want to hear a pizza joke? This happened at the Shell Houston Open a few years back. 13 Fun Cheers for Basketball Cheerleaders. A bag of money can represent not only wealth, but also massive inflation. 5. Youve never been before but you and your golf buddies scored four clubhouse passes for the day. Hug him. Funny Things To Say Randomly 61. To those of you who dont know, Johnny Miller is the lead analyst for NBC Golf and is one of the least liked guys on TV. Keep sneezing and spraying the person in front of you. Here I am! You may go as far as finding out if you share the same hobby or mutual friends. Get your hair cut at Walmart and when they ask if you like it run away screaming. 35. Answer (1 of 87): Not me, but my children's father. ", At the end of that movie, where the guy's back is broken, my friend was like, "aaaaann nnnnd STRETCH!". Just as Lefty pegs his tee in the ground your heart starts racing. 99. 44. Life is fun and it is important we learn how to go through it having fun. Place a walkie-talkie in your mailbox and scream at everyone who walks by. 9 out of 10 voices in my head tell me Im crazy. What do you call a bear with no teeth? He holds a masters degree in communication and hopes to get his doctorate soon. Ready to leave the seriousness and stress of the day behind you for a little bit? like a really angry sumo wrestler! Complain that your doughnut has a hole in it. Run down a street screaming HAPPY BIRTHDAY HONEY angrily while throwing m&m's at random people. Funny Random Things To Say In A Conversation 36. There is electricity amongst the crowd as Phil just got out of a maximum security prison to save par on the last hole and everyone went ape shit. There are some things you can say in a conversation and people would either crack up or go who the heck are you? If you really want to look young and thin then you should hang out around fat old people. Put up a lost cat sign that has a picture of a potato. Thats Not a 2:30 Feeling! The tenth is just humming. 15. Hey! Knock knock. A few I've made up, use with my compliments: This stale type of humor is not worth using on any gig. OH! OH! Watch a creepy movie and at a quiet, serious, scary part, scream as loud as you can in a deep voice,. Joshua Moore 100+ best jokes to share with coworkers. Blood makes the grass grow!Greener, greener: grow grass, grow! The Culture First Community is a group of people leaders, HR practitioners, and change agents committed to building a better world of work. 40. During the 2002 US Open at Bethpage Black then #2 in the world David Duval was playing a. You're in the wrong lane when everything is coming at you. Dress up as a giant m&m and run through a busy place shouting THE SKITTLES ARE COMING!, 51. 95. then hide. When people try to get on ask if they have an appointment. If you are from Miami, then you should behave like a fish. Whenever I try, my brain keeps falling out. Why did the developer go broke? Go to an electronic store with a banana and say that you want to upgrade to an apple. D-A-D-D-Y, you don't even know the guy,Your daddy! For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding. 1-2-3 Go, Lasers, Go! It's because they have little antibodies. 43. Friends buy you lunch. 40. Halloumi! Why did the car get a flat tire? Every woman should marry an archeologist, because the older she gets, the more he'll love her. When someone is trying to get your attention, say, "You can't talk to me until you get my billing from my secretary. Sit on a bench with skittles and when people walk by scream "taste the rainbow" and throw skittles. If you don't like what you hear, tip us and we will use the money for lessons, Be sure to tip your waitress, they look better on their side. 18. DO A BARREL ROLL! If you lend someone money and never see them again, it was probably worth every penny. You arejust like me. Miller is known to be the biggest motormouth on the air. How original. THERES A MONKEY IN MY POCKET AND HE'S STEALING ALL MY CHANGE!!!!! When I met my now wife, I asked if she was vegetarian because she really loved animals. 2. 6. My personal waking nightmare of 12 and 13: the horrible death of a marriage. People go to bars for one of two things; get hammered or get nailed which one are you here for darlin? YOUR WICKED!!! . Heres my son, and his dog, coming. Learn from the worlds biggest collection of employee insights. What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? Commit them to memory, and you'll have your friends laughing so hard they won't even remember why the conversation had lagged in the first place. Clear editor. You can say these random things to friends or strangers to strike a conversation with them or keep a conversation going. Ive had bad luck with both my wives. 2. 39. My housemate is a huge Richmond Tigers fan. All I can say, is that this book will be funny. (repeat), Alternate for Basketball:Kill! When you know the right things to say, you can actually make people laugh even in the most boring of situations. Why don't scientists trust Atoms? When you find yourself struggling with how to keep a conversation going, asking simple questions like why they look tired or where they got their clothes because you are looking for a similar one, etc. You're alive!" I had used up all of my sick leave, so I called in dead. 10. I might hate Baba Booeys, but Im all for having fun with it. 1. You are so annoying. When someone says, grab a seat literally grab a chair and walk out of the room. Because he was a fun-ghi. in the otherwise silent theater. Here are 60 funny, clever, and oh-so-smart one-liners that are perfect for any occasion. There are things you can do to stand right back at your feet and boost your confidence. You could feel it. I thought of that after the cops came rushing in. Go up to a random person and scream GET IN MY BELLY!!!! When you offer someone gum, say, "It's not what you think." 37. Oh silly boy, you make me feel like I want to poop. Why did the birthday boy wrap himself in paper? Now the Richmond Football Club in Melbourne hadn't been in the grand final since 1982 (way before she was born) so this was a big deal for her. I'm so glad we have brown cows, otherwise there wouldn't be any chocolate milk. What did one ocean say to the other? 13. We're gonna do one more and call it a night" (after the first tune! Share Little Things About Yourself: Sharing stuffs about yourself is quite an uneasy conversation filler. 65. Lee Ving hes my hero! We've had a request, but we're going to keep playing anyway. YOUR WICKED! 69. Go to an atm machine and when the money comes out scream i win i win. when i have time I'll start adding the good 1 liners you guys submit to the official list at the top of the thread. All content copyright original author unless stated otherwise. This time, I'm just going to pick a woman I don't like and give her a house instead. Get in a taxi and tell the driver to follow that car, point to a parked car. From funny things to say to a crowd to funny things to say to your coworkers, we rounded up the best LOL-worthy sayings all in one spot. There are 25 more letters in the alphabet! See Also:Top 50+ Funny Yahoo Questions and Answers. Get jalapeno business. When you compliment someone, it shifts focus to the other person and makes them feel good. The Empire State Building can't jump. 62. 53. 1-2-3 Go, Lasers, Go! 11. Put Mayonnaise in a bowl, freeze it, and tell your friend its ice cream. Because if it had four, it'd be a Chicken Sedan! Get in the passenger seat in a car and scream like crazy and get everyone else scared. 49. Try these funny comments with your friends. Hide in a wardrobe in a furniture store and when someone opens the door scream, "Welcome to Narnia". 21. 61. Dont forget to be yourself, so that the other person can be comfortable and express themselves pretty well. I am a great housekeeper. And all because of viewer commentary. It was so out there it was funny. What is giving Ronnie Wood his tone in this song? Gather some friends and stick and run like it is World War II and scream iyiyiye! Be Courageous: When meeting a stranger, chances are that the person will probably like you more than you think and you both may enjoy the conversation more than you think, but you have to be brave to make that first step. And God said to John, "Come forth, and you shall receive eternal life!" Why it is hard for a communist to tell a joke? This is a song I wrote last year, after I heard it on the radio, We don't know that song, but this one is just like it!" Be original, be witty, and be memorable. Go to the vet with a can of mashed tuna and ask can you fix him? Chase the ice cream truck until it stops for you. He asked for the prettiest and longest-lasting one and the owner charged him a whopping $1,000! Run. 2023: The Year Epiphone Became Unaffordable, They Stole My Digital Recorder and SD cards. A Do-you-think-he-saw-us! I don't really need a hairstylist since my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning. It's "to whom.". In the middle of july, run down the street screaming merry chrristmas! The shop owner points to three identical-looking parrots on a perch and says, "The parrot on the left costs $500 dollars.". Arnold Schwarzenegger goes back to Austria for his Easter Break. I don't understand how people can be so open-minded. Look for the "Fresh Prints.". You cannot paste images directly. Hey Crowd, on three yell, Go, Lasers, Go! While having anxieties about someone we dont know can be nerve-wracking, focusing our attention on them can help us get past the awkward moments. Have you heard about the band 1023MB? So read on and share your favorites with your friendsor anyone really! I would really like to help you out today. The best yea we're yellin' for the number 1 team Let's hear it for the Trojans The green and the white (school colors) Number one, that's what we said The best yea alright GO green - Fight white Let's go Trojans Go big green - Let's Fight! 38. When you offer someone gum, say, Its not what you think.. Not many know about the latest technological advancements in the automobile industry, but at the very least, you know that everyone has a passion or opinion about one food or the other. Its impossible to put down. Call the Skittles Company and complain that Skittles do NOT taste like a rainbow. 52. yeaahhhh, you junk! 17. Run around and scream to people have you seen my chicken!!! In such a situation, saying random things might just do the magic for you. J-U-N-K, no one on your team can play,You junk! 23. How mergers and acquisitions impact the employee experience, 4 tips for creating an equitable employee experience. Ill be back in five minutes. 30. Put up a Lost Dog poster with a picture of a cat on it. 32. Make loud groans in a public bathroom then drop a cantaloupe in the toilet and sigh in relief. You might spill your beer. 2. If dont have a clue on how to keep conversation flames going while with your friends or in a gathering, dont worry because weve got you covered. Why should you never fall in love with a tennis player? Natalie Portman runs over to Thor's unconscious body after he fell out of the sky and hit her truck. 20. Pick up a bag of sliced turkey in a store and scream WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO YOU!. thats all i got Quote Report post Posted August 16, 2008 OBJECTION Quote Report post Hide a walkie-talkie by a bench and scream, "Get off the bench! 3. My hair hurts. If Bert Newton was a butcherhow would he introduce his wife? 78. You! Hey, do you know someone somewhere is making love right now? Bring a desk on an elevator. He ate his pizza before it was cool. 18. It might be a you had to be there moment, but it got quite a rise out of the crowd. You can also try to make up stories about things and seek their views.

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