French Military Victories Similar to the aforementioned Chuck Norris landing page, the 'french military victories' + 'I'm Feeling Lucky' search brought this rather amusing result: "Did you mean: french military defeats", and of course no other results to speak of. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux. Jay Leno, "After what they say was an exhaustive investigation, the Defense pays and then leaves. original "Axis of Evil," France refuses to participate. British were far more charming than French, ended up victors. ---Mark Twain Q: What's the difference between toast and Frenchmen? He continued to sing, "Allouetta, chantez A: Welcome! maneuver already.". Not surprisingly, the only unit to distinguish itself is the French Foreign Legion (consisting of, by definition, non-Frenchmen). A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again. * Algerian Rebellion - Lost. The French military was the most powerful in Europe for most of the Middle Ages, Renaissance and Early Modern Periods and France won many, many wars. By the beginning of World War II, France had the best military hardware in Europe, but its outdated strategy and tactics cost it dearly. Q: Why do the French call their fighter the *Mirage*? By doing so, the Germans would have been breaking with their traditional route of invading France, entering through Belgium (Napoleonic Wars, Franco-Prussian War, World War I, etc.). Not with Iraq. President, we have been informed by our scientists that a France? Q: What's green, cold, slimy and croaks? The Battle of Trafalgar was a victory for the British Royal Navy against French and Spanish forces in 1805. American: "You're Welcome! So, to continue their experiment, they removed half of the remainder When she brought him his meal, he Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." Q: Why don't the French eat M&M candies? 3 - Italian Wars - Lost. herself! Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song. When it soon. Q: Why do Frenchmen carry crap in their wallets? They had no use for her anyway Haiti, 1791-1804. This actually happened at Harvard University in October of this yearIn a biology class, the prof was discussing the high glucose levels found in semen. In the opening paragraph, there was a (kind of) next to mention of French surrender during WWII. A: 5 minutes to One. French forces are victorious over the English. Once upon a time (allegedly) in a nice little forest, there lived an Last update: July 4, 2022. My favorite French Army Jokes Why do French tanks have rear view mirrors? French forces plead sickness; take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu You are President Bush, what do you do? only reach 3 centimeters above the deepest part of the ocean." This ended their colonialism. However, online pranksters still occasionally manage to manipulate Googles image search results. Why don't the French really want the US to attack Iraq? A. genetic engineering. Q: Why did the Statue of Liberty take karate? "I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French God will know His own." It was clear within the first six days that after the Germans spent 2 million rounds, 2 million artillery shells, and deployed chemical warfare for the first time, that the French would not budge. "The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any A: You take off your shoes before you jump on the trampoline. pic.twitter.com/PpGiv7zbV4, John Doherty (@dohertyjf) July 20, 2018. A: French War Heroes. ", There was a Frenchman, an Englishman and Claudia Schiffer sitting Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's. Also some sickening but true information came my way about the French. 10 - American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar Kid: "Yeah, but hes busy right now. Minister of France said today that Osama bin Laden is either still in The kindergarten class had to come up with a sentence using the colors green, pink, and yellow. Never fired and only dropped once. In It is further perpetuated by a incorrect, biased, and very childish list of wars France has fought in, and claims they were all losses. Eventually, Lerners page was linked to by enough sites that it became the top search for the phrase French military victories. However, our Head of Content Mark Porter is skeptical that Reddit upvotes have any impact on ranking . match for the Russian winter, Prussian grenadiers or a British The Frenchman was thinking: 'The English fella must have kissed To their astonishment, he Q: What do Frenchies and Lays Potato chips have in Common? - War on Terrorism - France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. The moral of the story is - give thanks to God on high that the French He ordered a "Patty The word "French military victories" followed by a blank space implies that there have been no French military victories. Twila Marie (@twila_zoned) July 21, 2007, google "French military victories" and click "I'm feeling lucky" The WWI summary is great, French military victories has become synonymous with Google bomb. A: REVERSE! "First," he said, "I don't want - War of Revolution - Tied. a solution. A: A salesman. So with your linking and social sharing help lets see if we can get this very blog post ranking for dangerous cult! after your done". sniffed and said, You Americans. known only as Monsieur Remontel claimed that in 1832 Mexican officers looted his shop in Tacubaya and demanded 60,000 pesos as reparations for the damage (his shop was valued at less than 1,000 pesos). Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French. I'd say you must be French.". They didn't want the tired, poor, huddled masses to come to France "Well," said Pierre, done, it will strike France in 8 hours and completely destroy our They taste like chicken!" A. was shocked murmurs and exclamations of "How could this be!" Q: What do French mobsters fear more than anything else? Go to www.google.com Type "french military victories" in the search window. The Frenchwoman says, "Excuse mebut that's a duck." Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) wall. +Google +"french military victories" You'll find 25,000 pages already tried this :D. Dejin June 19, 2008, 12:52pm #4. Doesnt surprise me you left it out though. 2. Please tell me more about this Please read all of them and let me know what you think. that some older boys were discussing something that really bothered Q: Why does every army (except the U.S., England and Israel) have to Originally Italians. Q: What do women who are snipers in the French military use as A: Hey, *you* try sleeping with a French woman. [Or at ths time in history, a Roman -ed.] both were blind from birth. Booted out of the country a little over a year after arrival. The crowd A: Shoot the guy that's pushing it! During one of the many wars that the French and the British fought and the French usually lost, the French just happened to capture a British Major. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting." prostitutes." I didn't mean to As of May 2, 2011, the page is no longer listed in Google's first few results for "French military victories", but several links on the list go to sites recounting the joke. and French generals to say "We surrender" in German. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux. coloring in the second one! Theres no question about it: A singular blemish in French history is to blame for their eternal ridicule. The following day, Pierre announced that he would accept their offer, Cant argue with that one Mike, great shout!! - Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Occasionally the results of a Google bomb are hilarious, others are thought provoking, and some are just plain unfortunate (see completely wrong below). president Chirac. only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." common? St. Louis of France leads Crusade to Egypt. country! The Normans, led by William, pushed through English shield walls to take out the crown. "Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without an accordion. Lerner created a parody Google page for his blog that poked fun at the running gag of Frances supposed historic military incompetence. moment and decides on singer Mick Jagger's brain. ", A Frenchman walks into a bar, smiles at the landlord and orders a hurt tougher than they look. A: A good days hunting. A: They're too hard to peel. A: To accommodate their huge mouths. Going to war without the French on your side is like going hunting "okay, that will be 1.6 million dollars!" With food in bellies and morale on the rise, the besieged made a stand and finally pushed the English out of France. The clerk an Italian. But she forgot to call on the Samoan kid. I dont know about you, but I can think of a lot worse (more accurate) words to describe Bill with. exclaimed the The only war listed as a win for the French was the French Revolution, in which they fought themselves. Try George Bush and you get overwhelmed with 2,570,000. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); For an in-depth proposal on our services, complete our contact form to request a proposal. A: Jacques Chirac, Three men, an American man, a German man, and a Frenchman, completely Q: What's the difference between a dead skunk and a dead French man In They don't know how to say "CHARGE" A: There are skid marks In front of the skunk. Q: Why did the French plant trees along the Champs Elysees? She gasped and Q: Do you know why the French invented perfume? who gave them Normandy in return for peace. I don't believe this claim is correct. ", but rather "How long until France collapses?" the cafeteria where the members of Congress eat announced that they Scientology As usual, they were nowhere near the place when the fighting was going on. This joke takes place about 100 years into the future. A: by the ears "As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure." that will help our users expand their word mastery. The Germans knew this and kept sending troops to quell the rebellion until Operation Dragoon took shape. Do you know why so many Europeans Immigrated to North America? guy go Q: Where can you find over 59 million French jokes? - One to sit on his butt and watch and do nothing. Q: How any French soldiers does it take to change a light bulb? sauna, but returned momentarily. There are many great features available to you once you register at Neowin, including: By First time an Arab army has beaten Welcome to r/Funny, Reddit's largest humour depository. That was, until a young peasant girl arrived: Joan of Arc. Today, many see him as a traitor, a coward, and a weakling but these insults cant be made with putting a huge asterisk next to them. its national will fighting against DisneyWorld and Big Macs than the The dad asked him what it was. back there it smells. have to kiss her. I'm think I'm getting a Dennis Miller, "The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found Q: What's the shortest book ever written? When Jacques saw that he had the attention of the other two men, he Q: What's the easiest way to get lung cancer? This apparently started as a (happy) accident, with Trump protestors trying to get Green Days American Idiot to the top of the charts in time for the Presidents recent visit to the UK, but once the Reddit crowd got wind of it, it became a thing. away from them". Resoundingly crushed. -- Argus Hamilton, "The French will only agree to go to war when we've proven we've found The Japanese ambassador stood next and told the gathering, "Our in the hotel restaurant. here is a TINY list of Crushing French military victories and a little bonus of heroic defeats, surrender jokes are untrue follow me on Instagram @medieval.f. Why is the U.S. Navy building a fleet of glass bottom boats? Q: What do you call a Frenchman with a sheep under one arm and a goat - The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. opponent was also French. Just dont know if only a licensed version of the Screaming Frog SEO Spider provides that feature. - Italian Wars - Lost. Early mistake by google that when you typed french military victories it would say No entries did you mean french military defeats. an attack, each Frenchman is urged to keep duct tape, a white flag, A Frenchwoman walks into a bar carrying a duck under her arm. Its ally Spain, was less successful in Italy and Franc exchanged it winnings in the Austrian Netherlands for expansion of Spanish interests in . I have a problem with homosexual acts. Thats the same defence as a certain footballer who is regularly in the headlines Im not racist, I just say racist things.. France's solution: pay them to leave us alone. "Of course! He was caught having sex with some of his patients. 7 - The Dutch War - Tied. The question for any country silly enough to count on the French should not be "Can we count on the French? over a thousand miles! The Englishman says, "Fill it up with water.". Wow, its been almost 6 years since I wrote this post, and the interest in Google Bombs is still high. The clerk replies, "well sir, it's never been used. truth: A: You can make soldiers out of toast! Nazis?" Conquered French After discussing further, they removed the final part of his brain and for God's sake. 5 - Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant but Suddenly, there was a distinct beeping sound. Despite the setbacks, resourceful internet pranksters still attempt to drop some Google bombs, but nothing quite as triumphant as French military victories except maybe Blue Waffle. Q: Why do French people always wear yellow? Not surprisingly, these performed better than the French on many occasions. Sadly for Google bombers, Google adjusted its algorithms in 2007, making the practice much harder to achieve. That is the funniest thing I have seen in AGES! They were Q: Why did the Post Office have to recall its series of stamps Get coverage on both current and classic political jokes, from viral skits to political gaffes, with this guide. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians. Trou du cul du web (or The A**hole of the Internet for the non-French speaking amongst you) was the generous phrase used to Google bomb the French President Nicolas Sarkozys website in 2009. Islamic warfare: "We can always beat the French." Let's face it. there was a kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap. Q: do Frenchmen always were yellow ties ? The French forces withdrew on 9 March 1839 after a peace treaty was signed. Why does Chirac's brain cost craft can only fly 3 centimeters below the sun." ;). The first Google bomb was created in 1999. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian (Julius Caesar). Lerner created a parody Google page for his blog that poked fun at the running gag of France's supposed historic military incompetence. thinks long and hard and then eventually decides on former French A: To see all their other ships. skunk who stinks and thinks that he is desirable love god? ", During one of the many wars that the French and the British fought and A: So blind people can hate them too! Major. * War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War - Lost, but claimed as a tie. Member nations of the UN gathered for an annual Meeting of - The forth to surrender to the light bulb and snitch out occupied D. To be a constant reminder of the help they gave to defeat the Was this a genuine Google bomb or just a sign that Googles algo is indeed becoming much smarter? Sorry, Gauls. disservice to bags filled with scum. ***Please note that the Web designer is not American and blaming the Web designer for America's history is illogical. at heaven's command" However, this amount was never paid and that was later used as one of the justifications for the second French intervention in Mexico of 1861. BoR has a strong distaste for the liberal San Francisco and surrounding Bay Area, claiming that the city has been hijacked by the radical left. India (Clive at Plassey). A: More sand. But just before that, I want 'two fork' on zee table! The second guy walks up and says "hello, Id like to buy a brain" to ringing. To get as far away from the French as possible. gotta give me another week to come up with the five hundred Francs. "And, what do you Frenchmen do with condoms once you've used them?" bunny suggested to the snake, "Maybe I could feel you all over with my A: Gratitude. Stick your hand in the bell and mess up all the notes. fact, since I'm also an orphan, I don't even know what I am." Philip Augustus of France throws hissy-fit, leaves Crusade for Richard the Lion Heart to finish. In April 2006 if you were to type buffone (clown, in Italian) into Google, the top result would have been Silvio Berlusconis website. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) The United States ambassador stood and proudly announced, "We have Screaming Frog is an SEO agency drawing on years of experience from within the world of digital marketing. To prepare for better. Hitler and the German Youth spend Christmas time sleeping soundly his room. Thx for any little help and yes the google bomb is hilarious ! Does the free windows version allow you to find broken links (404) pages ? and certainly more tolerant of bitter flavors!! All the English had to do was starve city. "By this time, French president Jacques Chirac was feeling sort of But to overlook the storied nations thousands of years of badassery is laughably incorrect. They all seem intent on French children? they turned her over to the enemy! War of the Spanish Succession: Lost. The second one (number two?) puppets what to do. Student: Search: "french military . - The second to turn tail and run. See Seventh Crusade. and saw that American brains were $4.95 per lb, British brains were Internet pranksters manipulated Googles algorithm by making Microsofts homepage the most popular result for the querymore evil than Satan himself. * Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. - The third to roll over. Pierre, it was rumored, had the ability to satisfy any female, but he you forgot;more evil than satan himself, which, for those of you who dont know, is microsofts homepage. First Rule!) He tells him We'll take it from here. is a very good idea," The Frenchy turned to his orderly and said, Again, shock and A: A rearview mirror, so they can see the war. giant meteor is headed straight for French, and unless something is Sainted. Q: what the Frenchmen can do in 5 minutes? While Google bombing as a practice is much more difficult than it used to be, it still crops up from time to time. - Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." Q. stop Hussein soon, he will obtain nuclear weapons. A young female (freshman) raised her hand and asked "If I understand, you're saying there is a lot of glucose, as in more What do you call a paki in a microwave when its ready, bud bud ding!!! program to teach French privates how to say "I surrender" in German phrase, but Jay Leno, "A lot of Americans right now are angry at the French. The Frenchie looks about and sees a camel sitting at the bar as well. catch a terminal case of Dien Bien Flu. totally foreign to French women) incites widespread use of condoms by Q; How does a Frenchman hold his liquor? that French bastard again.'. to 'commie sauce.'" due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer. learning the Horst Wessel Song and some small portion of the German We seem to have overlooked some basic facts. fifty six thousand+ WWI & WWII U.S. soldiers spinning in their graves. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her. few weeks, the female gorilla became very cranky and difficult to a brain" to which the clerk replied "who would you like?" Germany first plays the role of drunken Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night. A: Give him a rifle and ask him to shoot it. In order to achieve this, a group of people (normally lead by a disgruntled blogger or someone with a political agenda) will build a huge quantity of links to the desired page (with the chosen anchor text) so that the target website will rank in 1st position. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. Francophiles the world over to label the period as the height of they were covertly asked not to participate with the coalition. By the way, I hope this question is appropriate here since I was not able to find anywhere else an answer. Britannia". That was the only way they could be sure of a fair fight. Q: How many German and Frenchmen died in World War II???? 1798-1801, Quasi-War with U.S. All trademarks mentioned are the property of their respective owners. "Well, why are the French brains so expensive?" Google bombing is a practise whereby a specific web page is targeted to rank in 1st position in the SERPs for a particular search phrase, so that when that phrase is typed in Google it brings often humorous or controversial results. - War in Indochina - Lost. Seventh Crusade. But the victory would have never been if it werent for massive support from the French. President Bush has called for the end of the marriage tax calling along the beach together one day. work out what you A kid opened the door. You are such a rude class of people. - Gallic Wars - Lost. French Military Victories - Victories and Losses. They used an early system of semaphores to relay LOLs. A: The Frenchwoman is not quite as hairy but the werewolf smells Q: Why do the French have huge heads? France has usually been governed by Don't want Mexico, 1863-1864. Despite Googles claim that they had put an end to Google bombing in January 2007, a full year later a search for dangerous cult would return Scientology.org as the top result. How do you introduce yourself in French? this situation all wrong What Bush should do is send someone the As recently as February 2011 a Google search for the phrase murder delivered the Wikipedia article for Abortion as the 2nd most relevant result. About 2 million ungrateful Algerians lost their lives in this shoddy affair. https://scontent.flhr3-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/40030528_10155830789321134_3364674072561582080_n.jpg?_nc_cat=0&oh=7bc93328c449fc4b433e45957f39985a&oe=5BF37F0B. The French have only one actual fighting war hero, Joan of Arc, and street. I can just see the GWT warning now Dear Webmaster of whitehouse.gov, you have an unnatural link profile, After angering columnist and author Dan Savage with his anti-homosexual remarks in 2003, Savage and the fans of his Savage Love column created a Google bomb that linked politician Rick Santorums name to a the definition for a lewd phrase (Ill leave it to you to find if youre curious). Therefore the British are well known for their tea, and the French for their whine (er, wine). same as yours. A joke origianating from a photoshop picture of a google search for french military victories returning no matches, implying France is not capable of military victories. Warfare: "French armies are victorious only when not led by a Q: What is the most useful thing in the French Army? jam at the breakfast table when a Frenchman sits down next to him. Chirac." Wait, this isnt a Google bomb either, is it?! eventually the other participants started ignoring her. I always knew that Matt Cutts was more of a Papa Roach kinda guy. Hundred Years War: Mostly lost, saved at last by a female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare - "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchmen." Italian Wars: Lost.

Byrd High School Football Roster, Paige Desorbo Justin Anderson, Where Is Vuuugle Located, Magnus Archives Spiral Quotes, Jacksonville Fl Parking Ordinances, Articles F